SACRIFICING FEELINGS

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

(John 15:13)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .

(Ephesians 5:25)

Since most of us will never be called upon to actually sacrifice our physical lives for our friends or wives or anyone else, these commands tend to sound theoretical. But there are other ways of sacrificing that are more difficult even than death, because they are inward and long-lasting. The sacrifice of my right to express my feelings is one such sacrifice.

A very moving illustration of emotional sacrifice is depicted in the film Life is Beautiful, directed by and starring the enigmatic Roberto Benigni. The film was in the theaters in 1997, ten years after our return from Italy. At that time, the dialogue was only in Italian with English sub-titles. My wife and I, still conversant in Italian, could get the full impact of the humor, as well as the horror, of the film. We were a few seconds ahead of the rest of the audience in laughing at the comedic lines (if the audience got the Italian humor at all). But the serious, heart-wrenching drama could not be missed.

The film is about sacrifice. Guido Orefice, a Jewish bookseller in Italy, is deported with his young son, Giosuè, and his wife, Dora, to a concentration camp, where Dora is separated from her husband and son. In order to protect his son both physically and emotionally, Guido convinces the boy that what they are experiencing is an elaborate game in which Giosuè will earn points for performing certain tasks his father assigns him. Extra points will be earned for hiding from the guards. The boy who earns 1,000 points first will be awarded a real tank – not a toy one.

The father maintained the charade until the end, sacrificing his own “right” to be horrified and depressed over their plight. The final task assigned to Giosuè was that he hide in a steel box until he could hear no noises. Giosuè caught a glimpse of his father being led away by German soldiers to be shot, but the father maintained the game by his expression. As the boy emerged from the box, an American tank rolled into the camp, and the tank commander helped the boy up onto it. As the tank rolled past freed prisoners, Giosuè saw his mother and was reunited with her. The final words of the film are the voice of the adult Giosuè paying tribute to his father’s sacrifice.

Sacrificing feelings is a difficult task. We claim our right to our feelings above all else. Perhaps we feel it is hypocritical to “act” as though we’re happy when we’re not. We can find ample justification for letting people know how we feel. But sacrificial love, agape love, means subordinating my feelings and my desires to the needs of others. I have found that sacrifice to be difficult, but I’m determined to call on God’s grace to help me demonstrate it.